Let me just start off by saying, I think I am losing my mind. I don’t remember feeling these immature feelings when I was, well, less mature. Let me explain, here is how it went down…
My child came home from school one day and said “(so and so) is having a party!”. That’s great, I replied. Then I went on with the gazillion things I had to do and forgot about it.
Then a close friend called and said “What are you getting (so and so) for their birthday?”. I said that we had yet to receive our invite, but maybe it was in an old, obscure email box that I rarely check. So, I checked, nope, no invite. My friend was appalled. “That isn’t right, to invite all of (said child’s) friends but not (said child)!” In defense of the non-invitation extending mom, I reminded the friend that I often speak my mind openly, and maybe, just maybe, I had said something distasteful, true but painful, or simply against her beliefs at some point that rubbed her the wrong way….then I agreed, it WAS a shitty thing to do. Again, I went on with my day and forgot about it.
The day of the party came and went without mention of it from (said child). Phew, dodged that bullet, I thought. I think it was actually forgotten about. Then came school. (Said child) came home and was visibly upset. You know, comes in, slams door, throws backpack, requests junk food…..
“(So and so) was very mad at me because I did not come to the party! I told (so and so) that I didn’t get an invite.” At that point, my child was told that they specifically asked their mom to invite my child. Maybe it was a peace-offering conversation, maybe the non-inviting mom truly made a mistake, or maybe, just maybe it was intentional.
Regardless, my child’s feeling were hurt and in turn, momma gets angry. It’s not something I can control, it is innate. Ask any mom.
My child realizes that I am hurt because they are hurt and anger turns to acceptance in a heartbeat.
“That’s ok, it’s not like we are not going to be friends because someone’s mom made a mistake. My birthday is coming up and I will give (so and so) their gift for the party I missed there.” And, once again, I was proud of another one of my children for their forgiveness, reasoning and clarity at such a young age. Someone raised them right, eh, hem.
So, did I squash any uncertainty and ask the non-invitation extending mom why she excluded my child? Nope. I wrote this blog instead.
Her time will come (insert evil laugh….) Kidding, it’s not that big of a deal, as I learned from my child.
Have a happy, forgiving and wonderful day!