So, come this Fall, all of my children will be in school full-time. For the first time in oh so many years, my day will be free of children. Well, at least until 2:30pm. I have been dreaming of this time in my life for years and now that it is finally approaching, well, I am TERRIFIED. Years ago, when I was fresh out of the workforce, I used to say I would return to work when this time came. As if a seamless transition back into a workplace were even close to possible now. I expected it to feel a bit more exciting. Instead I am left feeling like I am about to play the first round of a sport I have never played before. I mean, of course I know what working is like, but things have changed in the past 12 years.
And do I even WANT to work again? I mean, It has been ages since someone has told ME what to do, I don’t think I would be very good at taking orders from others. If anything, being a full-time Mommy has definitely turned this gal into a control freak who likes to bark orders and luckily for me I have children and a husband who actually follow them.
Sure, the extra money would be great and being able to help out with bills would be a huge stress off of the husband. But would the amount of money I would be able to make up for what would be lost at home by me not being there. How to put a value on laundry being done, daily home cooked meals and a clean house? How much is being able to easily stay home with a sick child worth? Isn’t it great that your kids knowing there will always be a parent around when they get home from school?
After plenty of debate and several changes of hearts, I have now decided that I have no freaking idea what I want to do. I guess I will leave it to fate and see what happens. In other words, if something good falls into my lap, I may consider it.
For now, life is good here at home, and I plan on enjoying it for at least 6 more months!
I share in your terrer. It’s been great watching and guiding my kids navigate their way through early childhood, but the light at the end of the tunnel is here. And it’s getting brighter and brighter. I’ll always be here for my children, but now, I need to be “here” for myself.
terror. oops.
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