My daughter came home from school upset one day last week because a little girl was ignoring her. This girl, who has been her friend since Pre-K, just suddenly decided that she no longer wanted to observe my daughter’s existence. Well, of course that is how my daughter told the story. 🙂 Naturally, I wanted to make it all better, as Moms that is what we do. So I told her that maybe the little girl was mad about something and I asked if anything had occurred recently to warrant this reaction. My daughter said that the girl was running against her for class office and everyone oohed and aahed over my daughter’s posters she had made and the little girl’s weren’t as elaborate. I guess and that is when the ill-treatment began. I then sat her down to explain to her about the joys of female jealousy.
I have been thinking a lot (I know, shocker) about women and their reactions to jealousy. Now, I can only speak from personal experience as I do not really know how others react, but I think jealousy was probably to blame for at least 75% of mean things I have said or done over the years. Some of which I actually regret are painful to even think about. Most of my anger due to jealousy has been caused and/or directed at other women and usually, I think, brought on by my own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.
As I get older (and wiser) I feel that these occurrences are fewer and farther between, which leads me to believe that ignorance or immaturity may also play a role in feelings of jealousy. Maybe…or maybe my self-confidence has improved as I’ve aged. Regardless, I have tried, recently, to become more aware of my own feelings of jealousy and recognise it in others as well.
What I have gleaned from this experience is simple. It is a giant waste of time. It has no positive effect whatsoever. It turns women against each other before, sometimes, even having the chance to get to know one another. It makes monsters out of otherwise decent people on the giving end as well as the receiving.
I say we take all of this energy we are putting into jealousy and turn it into admiration. Give it a try, and next time you feel jealous of one of your fellow women for whatever reason, turn to her and tell her how much you admire that about her.
With all of the negativity floating around lately, the least we can do for each other is hold each other up instead of constantly tearing each other down.
Did I mention how nice you look today? 🙂