Running In A Swimsuit


There are many things that I do not realize I can’t do anymore until I attempt to do so and severely fail.

While at the community pool, my youngest son tried to escape the application of sunscreen session by darting off.  Instinctively, I ran after him. 

That is when it happened. 

Things went this way and that way.  Parts of me jiggled that I didn’t even know I possessed.  Oh, nice to meet you new fat roll.  I stopped right away but things were still moving.  With my head down, I walked slowly back to my lounge chair being careful not to make anything else jiggle in the process. 

My eldest son was mortified.  I just looked at him and said “I know, and I’m sorry.”  Yeah, I truly was. 

I prayed to the gods of summer that no one saw the display of my animal planet moment and all happened to have their eyes closed for those 8 seconds of craziness. 

When did everything become so detached from the muscle and mobile?  I quit smoking in February and have since gained some weight, but I never knew it’s possibilities until this point.

I used to be able to easily do a soft jog in a swimsuit a’ la Bo Derek, minus the braids.  Things were where they were meant to be and stayed there.   I am not the old lady in the moo moo who is all jiggly and wiggly. Or maybe I am?

I guess I have to accept (kicking and screaming) that I am no longer 20 years old and the days of running in a swimsuit are long gone.  I will put that on the list next to “touch my toes” and “wear a size 6”. 

See you at the pool, I will be the one in the moo moo talking about the good ole days.


About Orland Park Mom

Mom, writer, domestic goddess, superhero extraordinaire. Yeah, that's me.
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4 Responses to Running In A Swimsuit

  1. Anonymous says:

    Animal Planet!!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAA! Yes. I have monkey boobs too.

  2. OP Mom Too says:

    OMG… You made me laugh out loud! At work!
    Too funny and so true. We have entered the “Stop it Mom, You’re so Embarrasing!”

    • Although I do consider embarrassing my children an enjoyable sport, I do not enjoy it when the source of it is my own embarrassing fat jiggle. We have definitely entered that stage, what you choose to do with it is what counts. Game on!

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